Setting Goals When You’re Living with a Long-Term Condition: How to Move Forward, One Step at a Time

Focus On Your Goals

Living with a long-term condition, like fibromyalgia or asthma can make the idea of setting goals feel overwhelming. On bad days, just getting through the basics can feel like an achievement. So how do you set goals that work for you without adding more stress? Let’s dive into how to make goal-setting realistic, flexible, and most importantly, empowering.

Why Setting Goals Matters

When you’re managing a condition that’s unpredictable, life can feel like it’s ruled by limitations. Setting goals can be a way of taking back some control—a way to remind yourself that you still have the power to move forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time.

Goals give you direction and purpose, helping to break the cycle of frustration and helplessness that often comes with chronic illness. But here’s the key: the goals you set need to work with your life, not against it. This isn’t about pushing through or ignoring your needs. It’s about finding balance and building confidence.

Why Traditional Goal-Setting Doesn’t Always Work

The usual advice around goal-setting—like setting ambitious targets or sticking to rigid deadlines—often doesn’t account for the realities of living with a long-term condition. You might have days where just getting out of bed feels impossible, let alone tackling a to-do list.

That’s why it’s important to ditch the “all or nothing” mentality. Goals don’t have to be big or dramatic to make an impact. In fact, the best goals are often the ones that fit seamlessly into your life and adjust with you as your energy and symptoms change.

Step 1: Start Small and Specific

When you’re managing a long-term condition, small wins can have a big impact. Instead of aiming for something like “get fitter,” try something specific and manageable like “take a five-minute walk three times a week” or “stretch for two minutes in the morning.”

Why it works:

• It’s achievable, and on tougher days you don't have to force yourself to do it.

• Small steps build momentum, which helps you feel more confident and motivated over time.

Remember, there’s no such thing as a goal that’s “too small.” Progress is progress.

Coaching Question: What’s one small goal you could set this week that feels manageable and achievable, even on tough days?

Step 2: Build in Flexibility

Living with a long-term condition means there will be ups and downs. Some days you’ll feel capable of doing more, and others, you’ll need to take a step back. Setting flexible goals ensures you’re prepared for both.

For example:

• Instead of saying, “I’ll exercise every day,” try “I’ll move my body in a way that feels good three times this week.” If you can't achieve this don't beat yourself up, at least you tried.

• Instead of aiming to finish a big project in one go, break it into smaller tasks you can tackle bit by bit.

Give yourself permission to adjust your goals without guilt. Flexibility isn’t failure, it’s smart planning.

Coaching Question: How might you adjust your goals to be more flexible and supportive of your well-being?

Step 3: Focus on What Matters to You

The most meaningful goals are the ones that align with your values and priorities. Ask yourself:

• What brings you joy or fulfilment?

• What’s one thing you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t started yet?

Maybe you want to spend more quality time with family, learn a new hobby, or build better self-care routines. When your goals are tied to what truly matters to you, it’s easier to stay motivated, even when progress is slow.

Step 4: Celebrate Every Win

It’s easy to focus on what you haven’t done, but celebrating your achievements—no matter how small—can make a huge difference. Did you get out for that short walk? Did you finish a task you’ve been putting off? Give yourself credit!

Some ways to celebrate:

• Keep a journal of your wins (even tiny ones count!).

• Treat yourself to something you enjoy, like a favourite snack or a relaxing bath.

• Share your successes with someone who supports you.

Coaching Question: When was the last time you celebrated a win, no matter how small? How could you create a habit of acknowledging your progress?

Step 5: Be Kind to Yourself

Not every day will go to plan, and that’s okay. Living with a long-term condition means learning to adapt and give yourself grace. If you don’t hit a goal, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It just means you’re human.

Remind yourself:

• You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

• Resting when you need to is part of the process, not a setback.

Coaching Question: What would self-compassion look like for you on days when things don’t go as planned?

Quick Goal-Setting Tips

• Start small and build gradually.

• Make goals flexible to suit your needs.

• Focus on what’s meaningful to you.

• Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

• Practise self-compassion on the tough days.

Conclusion: Moving Forward, Your Way

Setting goals when you’re living with a long-term condition isn’t about pushing yourself to the limit. It’s about finding ways to move forward that honour your body, your needs, and your life. Remember, progress doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthwhile. Every small step adds up to something bigger.

If you’re ready to explore personalised ways to set and achieve your goals, I can help. Together, we’ll create a plan that works for you, so you can thrive at your own pace.